The Trust Sequel: The Chipenden Spook
by kittygirl320
Summary: Heartbroken, Tom is confused when the young woman he was once fond of, Alice Deane, returns to Chipenden to try and convince him that what she did was all for the best. Will Tom ever discover what he was close to again? The second fanfic to the Trust sequel.
1. What Makes Trust?

_**What makes trust? Is it someone who is loyal, someone who is wholehearted, someone who you can depend on? **_

_**Well, here is your answer...**_

_**T**_ruth - A way how most people decide on who to trust. After all, how can a person be trusted if all they do is lie or toy with words?

_**R**_eliable - A trustworthy person would be someone you can depend on when in a time of need. For example, allies are usually people you can rely on.

_**U**_pright - A person would need to be honest in what they say and honourable in what they do; that is someone who could be trusted.

_**S**_incere - How can trust work if you are deceitful and cold-hearted?

_**T**_rusting - Trust works both ways. You need to have faith in the other if they are to have faith in you. As it is, you cannot trust another if you cannot even trust yourself to do the right thing.

_**This acrostic poem will be used at the beginning of all the fanfics in this sequel. **_


	2. At the Edge of the Western Garden

4

I was sitting in the armchair, gazing into the embers of the fire, deep in thought. I'd sent Jenny, my apprentice, up to bed early so I could think for a while. Everything that had happened over the past years, how quickly everything had changed.  
I was friends with Alice for four years only before she turned on me over a year ago, ever since I became a spook, I'd been reflecting on how everything had gone wrong ever since I first stepped out of the gate to the farm back at home. All along I'd been right to worry about mine and Alice's friendship changing for the worse.

Then, the very memory of Alice smiling at me like she cared about me, that last kiss to when I saw her with Lukrasta...it was all just too painful. I wished I could just forget about her and move on, but I couldn't. Even that was painful because of all the good times we'd shared, all the dangers we'd faced.  
Now, I was never going to see Alice again and after all we'd been through. Right now, she probably was living happily with Lukrasta, already starting to raise a family. I imagined them eating together, laughing together, and it made my blood boil. The very image of the man that had taken the one person I was ever fond of in my mind...it made my flesh crawl and my heart wither.  
I don't know exactly what I was hoping for from Jenny becoming my apprentice. I thought this would help ease the aching feeling in my chest, but not even she could replace Alice. I never told Jenny this as Alice used to scowl at her at the edge of the western garden before disappearing, the place I last met Alice.  
Maybe things could've been different if I admitted I loved her, that I loved her more than anyone and anything. Then again, even though she kissed me, she may not have felt the same way.  
It was that last kiss that made things confusing. If she never cared for me in that sense then why did she take a risk and kiss me? Was she trying to prove something? For all I knew, it was just a kiss goodbye.  
Still, when her lips touched mine, as I held her in my arms, it made me feel as though she was my only concern, that the Spook's opinion would never alter something that probably was never there.  
Maybe Alice was only ever pretending to be my friend all this time, maybe she never did care. That thought only made me even more bitter than I already was. Why did I have to hold back what needed to be said?

The warm embers didn't feel warm to me, they felt cold and empty.  
It wasn't just Alice's betrayal that had struck me. My old master, John Gregory, had fallen in the battle against the Fiend up on Ward Peak, along with one of Bill Arkwright's dogs, Claw. I thought I didn't have a friend in the world and, for a moment, it saddened me and made me feel lonely.  
Then, I hardened my resolve.  
That was all from being a spook, but it was my duty to defend the County. Having a family, trustworthy friends and relatives that you always saw was just a fairytale. Even if things had been different, that would never have been fair on Alice because we would hardly see each other if we started a family, and that would put all of them in danger. It was only Alice that could take care of herself.

It was raining outside now, the raindrops rattling against the windows. I even thought I saw thunder for a moment.  
After looking out at the dark dreary evening sky for a minute, I turned my attention back to the embers. I tried taking my mind off everything that happened last year but nothing would leave me.  
My cheek slipped onto my clenched fist that then moved round, my fingers sliding over my mouth.

Suddenly, the shadows grew as the dim room brightened. I turned my head to find the glass of the mirror glowing. I walked over to it, thinking it was Grimalkin. But instead, I felt dismay and disappointment as a newly found liquid of consuming anguish surged within me. In the warm glass at the centre was a young woman with long dark hair with two side-strands clipped back and big brown eyes. In those eyes were regret but also a tiny glint of hope. Rain was beating down on the mirror she was holding.  
_Alice, _I muttered to myself in a growl.  
_Meet me at the edge of the western garden, _she mouthed.  
I nodded uncertainly, this wasn't the first time she asked this.

I slipped on my dark cloak, snatched up my rowan wood staff and opened the door. I drew my hood up before I walked out of the house. This could well have been a trick, so I was ready for anything that Alice was planning.  
Well, almost everything...

It was pouring so it must've been something really important or something Lukrasta told Alice to do for her to be standing out in this weather. As I came up to where I believed Alice was standing, she came into view.  
Once I was close enough, I demanded angrily, "What do you want here, Alice?"  
She drew back her hood.  
"I warned you never to set foot in Chipenden!" I told her coldly, also withdrawing my hood.  
There was something else besides regret in those big brown eyes of hers.  
"Never wanted you hurt, Tom. Those things I said, never meant a word of 'em. I came to sort this out," said Alice, tears welling.  
"What, Alice? Do you want forgiveness _now_?" I mocked. She certainly didn't seem to want forgiveness the last time we met.  
"Don't mock, Tom, don't suit you. No, you deserve to know."  
"Know what?"  
"I left you _for _you! Left you so Pan would leave you alone. There was a task I had to do," she bluntly explained.  
I sat on the bench, ready to listen to her excuse for her betrayal.  
"What task?" I asked, finding my voice softening. Yet, I still managed to keep it business-like so she wouldn't get the wrong idea.  
"Not going to like this, Tom, but you need to know. Back in the dark I chose to start at Pan's domain since the others were more dangerous for me to start at. When I got to his domain, Pan told me entering his came with a price. Didn't know what he meant, did I? So I left it at that and forgot all about it. As I was about to leave the dark through his domain again he reminded me of the price. I was in such a hurry to get home to you so I didn't think to question him further about it.  
"On the night I was about to start the process in binding the Fiend, Pan appeared in my mind just as I was about to use the doomdryte. The words started to reform and Pan threatened me. Said that if I didn't release Lukrasta and leave with him, he'd kill you. Couldn't live with that, could I? So I done what he commanded," she explained, tears starting to fall.  
Alice, then, sat next to me on the bench. As she done so, I pulled her closer to me without thinking, offering comfort.  
However, what she said was still no excuse for her failure to confide in me. As Alice burst into tears, I waited patiently.

"Why, Alice? Why wouldn't you tell me? I could've helped," I said once she'd stopped crying.  
"First time I tried I was about to use a mirror but Pan made the same threat so I kept quiet. Scared me good, he did, but I wasn't scared of him, I was scared of losing you. Realizing how miserable I was - cried when Lukrasta was nowhere near - Pan made me a promise: I could come back to you once I gave Lukrasta a child or you admitted your feelings for me and I admitted mine in return!" she cried, "So…when you said you'd…o-only leave if I…l-left w-with you…thought you'd admit your feelings…to m-me…the-then."  
"And have you had Lukrasta's child yet?" I asked her, feeling betrayed and hurt as I got a burning feeling in my chest at the thought that Alice could give _him_ a family when he was a dark mage.  
"It's on the way but that ain't the reason I left him, Tom. Lukrasta told me he never had feelings for me, he only wanted my strength and power so, once he found out about the baby, he forced me out with such harsh words," she replied, bowing her head.  
I wrapped my arms around her in a brotherly way.  
"Are you telling me you walked all this way with a child inside you?" I asked, speaking into her ear gently. Something in my instincts told me to do this because after all, she was in a vulnerable condition. Though I couldn't help the bitterness in my voice – that was something I just knew wouldn't go for a long time.  
"Felt it was only right to explain it all in person. When I tried the last time you seemed all bitter and besides, Lukrasta was nearby."  
As she looked up into my eyes, she pressed her lips on mine before I even had time to react.  
I, uncontrollably, responded by moving my lips in time with hers. The world seemed to spin about me, like I had regained purpose.

Just as I pulled Alice even closer to me, I was snapped back to reality. She was having someone else's baby and besides, I needed to be shown she wouldn't betray me again. I couldn't just let a woman back into my life because of one kiss that could've meant anything.

Finally, I found the strength to break away and cupped her face with my hands. I could see hurt in Alice's watering eyes and confusion, but this had to be said.  
"I'm sorry, Alice, I just need time. This just seems too sudden after what's occurred between us. I want this but just not yet. In time, I'm sure I can forgive you completely; just not right now, it's…it's hard to explain…" I tried to apologise, though I couldn't see why _I _was the one that had to do so.  
"No, Tom, I'm sorry. Shouldn't have rushed into this, should I?" she apologised.  
In my head, I was thinking: _No, you shouldn't have rushed into things. _  
Though my heart told me something different that I failed to understand.

After sitting in the cold for a few more minutes in silence, neither of us knowing what to say, we got to our feet and started walking back to the house. My heart wanted to reach out to Alice, but my head knew that if my hand found hers, I'd be holding hands with the dark. There was still a good chance she was malevolent and was just using me for some advantage.  
I looked up at the night sky, searching for something to say.  
"Oh well, looks like there won't be any stars out tonight," I sighed.  
We chuckled together. But, it stopped as quickly as it started. Nothing was like it used to be.

"Are you sure your apprentice won't mind my staying here?" Alice asked me suddenly, after a long pause.  
I chose my words carefully so I wouldn't upset her. Really, I was the one that didn't want her here either but that wouldn't be a good thing to say. I was raised better than that.  
"Maybe, but I'll explain it all to her in the morning," I replied. "How did you know I have an apprentice?" I was curious to know how Alice knew when she first appeared to Jenny.  
"I'll explain later," she smiled shyly.  
As I put my right arm around her, still in a brotherly, friendly gesture, whilst Alice rested her head on my shoulder in response.  
I felt myself tense a little, thinking about how nothing I said or done felt right when it concerned her.

Soon we were by the warmth of the blazing kitchen fire, Alice's hand on top of mine, though I was willing to move my hand away – but I didn't. I felt confused and stuck on what was the right thing to do. I knew the wrong, but I didn't know the right.

Alice explained all that she knew about Talkus and the Kobalos mages. I was intrigued and listened tentatively, surprised at how much Alice had learned. Apparently, she often eavesdropped on Lukrasta's meetings with his accomplices.

However, I was still unsure of whether Alice was benign or not and so made the same deal as my master proposed four years ago to her. It was harsh, I know, but it was all in everyone's best interests. I needed to keep an eye on Alice. I only allowed her to stay because I wasn't heartless and couldn't turn someone away when they had nowhere else to go and was in this condition.  
Although unsure I was of a lot of things, there was one thing I was sure of: that things would never go back to the way they used to be.


	3. Why?

I took Alice upstairs to my deceased master's old room where we sat on the bed and talked for a while.  
"Alice, Jenny told me you used to appear at the edge of the western garden and scowl at her for a few moments before disappearing again. Why was that?" I asked her.  
She sighed.  
"Won't lie to you, Tom. Deserve better than that, you do. Can't say I ain't jealous that she's taken my place but I didn't know how you'd react if _you _saw me at the edge of the western garden. Couldn't help but scowl at her. But it was so horrible locked inside those tower walls!"  
I smiled and felt a little sympathy, wondering what had happened to Alice in the past year.  
"Alice, no one could ever take your place. I never stopped loving you; I was just annoyed that Lukrasta had taken you from me. It's helped that you told me the truth."  
She hugged me after a small, quiet gasp.  
I felt taken aback by this. Even though I said Alice could stay, I didn't say we were friends so I found myself shocked.  
"I won't ever hurt you like that again," she promised.  
_We'll see how long that lasts, _I scoffed internally inside my head.  
I then slid my hand onto Alice's belly, my head resting next to hers. Then, I timidly kissed the top of her head as she nestled closer to me.  
"What do you think the baby is going to be?" I asked her, trying hard to bite back the annoyance I felt. I didn't know what it was but the fact this baby was Lukrasta's just made me want to turn away from everything and everyone; I was dangerously seething with hatred for Lukrasta now.  
"We will just have to wait and see," she replied, already, her big brown eyes drooping.  
Something about this made me forget Lukrasta, made me forget what Alice had done wrong. My attention was only focused on the warmth radiating from Alice as I held her.  
Alice eventually broke away, snapping me back to reality. Before she got up to leave, she smiled up at me and kissed my cheek.  
"Goodnight, Tom," she said softly.  
I felt annoyed again, wondering if Alice was trying to squirm her way back into my life.  
All the same, I replied civilly, "Goodnight, Alice."  
After all, one thing my parents taught me was manners.

My eyes followed Alice out of the room, I didn't trust her at all and didn't feel that comfortable in having a malevolent witch in my house. Still, I felt like I had to let her stay. What kind of person would I be if I turned away someone who was in a vulnerable state like that?

****It was a crisp autumn morning, white sunrays seeping through the window. It was a silence that told me to be ready for anything, despite the soft autumn breeze. Everything was calm, almost too calm.  
I got up out of bed and got dressed before making my way to Alice's room, to see if she was up to anything.

When I reached her room, I could see that the door was ajar and as I opened it more to get a better view of the room, I saw Alice. The light complimented her pale skin and made her hair look a dark brown. I was enchanted and wondered if I should make myself known.  
Alice was leaning against the wall, looking out into the grey sky, and rubbing her belly gently. I could tell she was lost in her thoughts.  
After a minute or so, she turned her head then realised I was standing there in the doorway. She walked over to me and smiled.  
"Morning, Tom, sleep well?" she asked me.  
"The best I've slept in a while – and you?" I replied.  
"Same."  
A guilty look spread in the dark pupils of Alice's big brown eyes.  
Alice looked away from me as the breakfast bell sounded. That worried expression on her face made a smile drop that I hadn't even known I'd been holding.  
It was odd that I'd slept better too.  
I put my arm around her, offering comfort.

Once we were sitting on the edge of the bed, I asked Alice, searching in her eyes, "What's wrong?"  
After a pause, Alice admitted, "It's Lukrasta."  
I was confused and wondered if Alice was lying, that she was a spy for Lukrasta.  
"I thought he threw you out, that he didn't want anything to do with you."  
"He don't, Tom, but you don't know him like I do. He can be absolutely horrible and I know he'd prefer to get between us so I have no one. What if he wants to take my baby?"  
The fear in her eyes was evident but I was too agitated to feel any more sympathy. Not only was Alice due with Lukrasta's child, but also she acted like he never gave me any pain when I had a scar to prove it.  
I looked down into Alice's eyes again and smiled with warmth and comfort, only with what she needed, not what she wanted.  
"That is not going to happen, Alice, I promise you. I won't let him leave you with no one and when the baby is born, you and I both know he won't get past the boggart. That's most probably the reason why he wanted _you _to get the Fiend's head that day before Halloween."  
I was aiming for a reassuring tone but instead; there was a slight edge of accusation, though I don't _think _Alice noticed.  
"Maybe we should start making our way down," Alice suggested, as though trying to move away from the accusation, like she wanted to forget about it.  
But, how? How could something like that be forgotten in the blink of an eye?  
I nodded and we made our way downstairs.

We sat down and waited patiently for Jenny.  
I couldn't help but think back to when Alice mentioned Lukrasta interfering. What was there to interfere with? It would take a while before I could forgive and forget; I was still finding it hard to forgive Judd for what he done two years ago.  
Then, the uneasiness of what Alice told me really got to my mind and I just _had _to ask her.  
"Alice, what did you mean _get between us_? I thought I made it perfectly clear last night that I -"  
"I know, Tom. What I meant to say was spoil something we could have _in time_. Sorry I was so blunt," she apologized emotionlessly.  
After that it was complete silence, enough for me to think over.

When Jenny finally came down the stairs, she stared with both disapproval and uncomfortably towards Alice.  
"What's _she _doing here?" asked Jenny as she sat down.  
"Jenny, this is Alice. She's staying here," I replied.  
"I can see that but, why?"  
"Alice knows what she did was wrong – that's all you need to know," I told her firmly, unwilling to explain all that was going on to her.

After breakfast, after complimenting the boggart's cooking, I took Jenny out to the bench in the western garden for another theory lesson whilst Alice went into the study to copy from some books. It was shocking how she didn't complain to me about that but, with that lost look in her eyes suggesting she was too wrapped up in her thoughts, maybe she was too distracted to even care.  
That was another reason why I was finding it hard to forgive Alice. Before she returned here, the last few times she'd spoken to me, she even admitted she felt nothing anymore.  
So, why did she come here?  
This was why I was certain Alice could be a spy for Lukrasta. 


	4. A Question

I'd sent Jenny off to get the provisions at the end of the theory lesson.  
She's asked me a question that I feared would come: "Why is that Alice living here with us? I thought you didn't want anything to do with her."  
I didn't know how to answer. It felt right to let Alice stay so I could keep an eye on her and she was carrying a baby after all. Then again, something boiled inside me every time I came back to the realisation that the child's father was Lukrasta, the man that took Alice from me in the first place. Deep down, I knew that the baby would, really, need a father and that I should've sent Alice back to him.  
But why didn't I?  
It was like there was one buried unmentioned reason that I couldn't find, let alone explain. Besides, it wasn't that I didn't want _anything _to do with Alice. Even though she hurt me badly, she was once the very best friend I'd ever had and sending her back would give me that painful memory of when my world was first torn apart.  
I couldn't bear to live through it all again so I didn't send Alice back.  
It wasn't only that I didn't know how to say what I felt to my apprentice, it was also the conflict in my thoughts and the hate for Lukrasta. Just when his name was mentioned in a sentence, I would seethe in anger.  
Lukrasta was the main reason I didn't answer Jenny. He was the cause to all this trouble, the reason why Alice and I never got the chance to be together. I found it hard to believe Pan was involved in this, I thought that Lukrasta was behind all of this and Alice was just covering up for him.  
Why would she do that if she said she didn't have feelings for him?

Lost in my thoughts, I never saw Alice come towards me, frightened and so pale.  
When I did see her just ten paces away, she came even more quickly towards me as she burst into tears. She rushed into my arms and I was surprised at how much I liked that, how I liked holding her in my arms.  
But then I remembered the promise to myself, so I held her at arms length.  
""Alice, you'll crush the baby doing that," I joked.  
She gave me a warning and panicking look.  
"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked her, now worried. "You look tired and pale."  
"...Lukrasta...saw him in the village...Tom...Tom...he stole more of my strength...he wants to kill you...oh, Tom...he's after the baby!" she sobbed all at once, completely breathless.  
"Are you sure you weren't imagin -"  
"Tom, he kissed me fiercely on the lips...he spoke to me...admitted to it all!" she panicked, raising her voice a little as it shook. 

I tucked her comfortingly under my arm and took her over to the bench.

We sat on the bench, facing each other, and I waited patiently for her to calm down.  
"It's not good for you or the baby to worry like this."  
"Lukrasta won't give up," she answered.  
"Look, Lukrasta can't get anywhere near you here and I will deal with him soon enough. So just...don't worry yourself about this," I told her, a small note of warning in my voice. I knew it made my words less reassuring but when Alice worried, it took a lot and it made me concerned so I got impatient quickly for no reason whatsoever. I knew she was hoping for better reassurance but it was hard.  
"Can't help it...Tom...you're all I have left...I can't lose you..." she said into sobs.  
"You won't lose me, Alice." I didn't know why I said this, it just felt right and when she said, _I can't lose you, _it was like she was trying to say she could be staying here for a while, and I surprisingly liked that idea.

"Tom, do you like Jenny?" Alice asked me quietly after a while, barely looking me in the eyes.  
"We work together, Alice, of course I do," I replied, wondering what she was trying to say.  
"Not what I mean, Tom, mean as more than friends."  
I looked at her sharply in surprise as she finally met my gaze.  
"What makes you ask that, Alice? We work together but we could never be in love. She's two years younger than me, don't forget," I replied.  
I don't know why but hated Alice to think that. In time, I knew that if I wanted to be with anyone, it would be her.  
"That's what Lukrasta told me and after everything else that's come true, it's hard to tell with him. The only thing that ain't true is that I've turned to the dark. After how he's treated me, how he beat me with his belt sometimes and hit me...I better go inside," she said quickly, already climbing to her feet.

She left for the house in a hurry and I jumped to my feet in shock and anger at what she'd just told me.  
"Alice, come back! You never told me that...Alice...Alice, please!"  
But she was now already near the door before she disappeared through it. I stood there in bewilderment. If that was true, I would be making sure I would get revenge on Lukrasta. But why wouldn't Alice leave him when it happened? I'd always known her to be strong-willed and the kind of person not afraid to speak her mind.  
Maybe those thoughts I had in mind about Alice lying was unnecessary.  
Still, I needed to talk to her about this. I wanted to know exactly what Lukrasta did to her, even though it would only fill me with more hatred for him.  
So, after a few moments, I shook my head and started to walk towards the house when I met Jenny by the door.  
I could see she'd got the provisions.  
"What's wrong?" she asked me.  
"I'll tell you in a minute," I replied.  
Jenny nodded and when I opened the door, we walked inside.


	5. Emotional

I asked Jenny to go upstairs so I could talk to Alice alone. What she'd almost told me worried me and ignited my fury even more towards Lukrasta. It also made me confused: I'd always thought Alice to be strong and independent, so why had she let Lukrasta get away with that.  
Knowing that standing there just behind the door wouldn't answer my questions; I walked into the kitchen.

There, I found Alice crying in one of the chairs by the fire, her hair a curtain on one side of her face. I made my way over to her and, leaning on my knees, I wiped her tears away for her.  
"Alice, did Lukrasta really beat you?" I asked her gently.  
"Don't matter, T-To-om," she sobbed.  
"It does matter, Alice, I want to know what he did to you. You said he took your strength...why else would you go inside so quickly if it doesn't matter?" I demanded, though my anger was aimed more or less at Lukrasta, not Alice.

There was a long pause as she took deep breaths before speaking normally again.  
"All right, Tom, I'll tell you but that ain't the reason I was crying. After the first time I resented Lukrasta's actions, after the last time we met, he dragged me back to the tower and took his belt to me just because you proved better than him. After that horrific night I was terrified of him and started feeling his fist at least once a week. About half a year ago, found out he was stealing my power for his own and, with it, weakening my strength. Panicked, I did, and told him about the baby thinking he'd stop. But he clouted me on the cheek and cast me out instead," she explained.  
"W-why wouldn't you tell me?" I asked, no bitterness in my voice.  
Still, I was struggling to conceal my rage. Now I was really annoyed. If only I'd have known what Alice was going through, maybe I could've helped her. But then there came the spook in me: Alice could still be making this all up – _if_ she was malevolent.  
"Been a while since we were close, Tom, didn't know what to think or do."  
"Alice, why _were _you crying?" I finally asked curiously, she'd never cry like this.  
She just shrugged slightly with a sigh.  
"Just been more emotional lately. It's also that I thought you were dead before I came to sort this all out and found out the truth...Saw it all through a mirror _and _Lukrasta told me so. Why would Grimalkin lie like that?"  
It was in that moment, I started to wonder if I should tell the truth about Mam, who she was. Then, on second thoughts, Alice and I weren't close anymore so maybe it was best if I kept it a secret. After all, I didn't feel ready to tell anyone and there was no need for Alice to know right now.  
So I chose my explanation carefully.  
"Firstly, it was Grimalkin's doing. She'd brought people back from the edge of death once before but it just took longer this time. The second part is just a little more difficult to actually describe. Also, Grimalkin never saw that coming. You're probably just a more powerful scryer than her," I told her.  
Alice fell silent again, whilst I was finding it hard to hide the expression I knew was showing that I was hiding something. 

Attempting to break the silence, I slid my fingers underneath her chin to lift it up, She met my eyes and I tried to extinguish the bitterness I still partially felt.  
"That's not the whole reason why you're crying, is it?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.  
"No, it's how much has happened and how it's all my fault. If only I hadn't been so stupid to agree to the deal with Pan. Done it all to protect you and that wouldn't have even been required. If I hadn't been so foolish, maybe we could be together and there would've been no threat from Pan."  
"That might be true, Alice, but what matters is that you've apologised."  
After that, not knowing what else to say to her, I got up and gently kissed the top of her head impulsively.  
Then, I shook my head.  
"I better...go and get Jenny."  
"I'll get back to the study," Alice told me, surprisingly, hurriedly.

She did go back into the study to copy out some more books before supper, gently rubbing her belly with a small look of discomfort in her eyes. Knowing it was just the baby – Lukrasta's – I said nothing.

When I found Jenny upstairs sitting in her room, I told her to come to the library, as there was some theory to be getting on with.  
She obeyed but once again asked about Alice. Most of it I didn't really like to think of; a tiny part of me wanted Alice to stay as now, the bitterness was starting to wither.  
Then again, half of the things she asked I didn't know the answer to myself.

In the library, after half an hour or so, the bell sounded for supper and so Jenny and I made our way down into the kitchen. 

"Are we still going to see your family tomorrow?" asked Jenny as we took our seats at the table.  
I nodded, then thought, thinking that maybe Alice should come too – ever since she'd come back from the village, she'd been a little on edge.  
"I'm thinking that maybe Alice should come too."  
Jenny turned her head sharply.  
"But she's pregnant, isn't she? I mean, won't the journey be too much for her?"  
Despite the friendliness of the sentence itself, the look Jenny gave was sharp and showed a little annoyance.  
"Look, I know you don't exactly find her likeable, but could you _please_ try to have an open mind...for me?" I pleaded.  
Jenny looked hesitant at first but then relented, to my relief, and nodded.

After about a minute or so, Alice came into the kitchen, rubbing her belly again.  
As she sat down, I turned to face her and told her what I'd decided.  
"Alice, tomorrow Jenny and I are going to visit my brother Jack, do you want to come? I know you don't like being cooped up, and being away from Chipenden will help a little, I should think," I offered, aiming for her to agree.  
"Won't Jack mind? I mean, he hates it when I come and after the last time and what he said to you...I'm just not sure at the moment."  
"Alice does have a point," Jenny piped up to my annoyance.  
Alice stared hard at her: that annoyed me too. Jenny did have no right to chip in like that but Alice should've known better.  
Still, I was taking no sides and hoped that it would just be left at that.  
"Alice, you know it will do you good to be away from Chipenden after what happened today," I pointed out, almost trying to battle out Jenny's argument and interrupt their stares at each other: it seemed a lot like jealousy to me.  
"Wait, what happened today?" Jenny looked at us sharply in turn, confused, but we both ignored her remarks to the subject.  
"Fine, I'll come," she said, finally giving in. She almost glanced triumphantly at Jenny but I was still glad Alice was coming – mainly so I could keep an eye on her.

After agreeing that the supper was nice, I had to say in a clear voice, "Our compliments to the cook!"  
When the purr sounded and I felt something soft brush hard against my leg under the table – which I knew to be Kratch – feeling a little proud of myself, I knew I sounded like the Spook. I just hoped I would be as good as he was – possibly attempt to be better, though that could prove relatively hard.

As we walked up the stairs to bed after supper, Jenny was still asking questions in confusion and I was getting a little frustrated and now was in a rush to get up to my bed.  
I told Alice that tomorrow, if she felt any pain or tiredness at all; she had to tell me straight away without hesitation.  
I knew she hated admitting to pain, but it was for the best if she wanted to have the baby – that I knew for certain.

When in bed, I couldn't help but think back to what Alice said about Lukrasta beating her. I felt guilty as, whilst I was safe and sound – and comfortable – in bed, Alice was having a hard time and could hardly sleep at night. Well, I couldn't help but hope she could now. Then I had to remind myself again, things couldn't go back to the way they were and I couldn't let them – Alice was still carrying someone else's baby and malevolent or not, she could still decide to return to Lukrasta for the baby's sake. 


	6. Warm Smile

Someone knocked hard on the door, causing me to shoot bolt upright.  
Gasping as I awoke from that same nightmare where I was killing Alice, a shiver ran down my spine. Something from the dark was here but why hadn't the boggart reacted?  
Knowing there was no time to think about it, I jumped out of bed, slipped into my breeches, put on my shirt, socks and boots and rushed downstairs.  
The flashes of thunderous light made it almost impossible to not get distracted. It was like it was turning from night to day, then night again.

I snatched up my staff and opened the door, ready for anything with my heart hammering in my chest.  
When I saw _him _standing there, I was shaking with fury. What gave him the right to approach the house like this, worse still, smiling fiendishly. His eyes looked dark and murderous and I only just managed to calm myself.  
"Good evening," he spoke dangerously low.  
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, I sensed someone stand by my side.  
I turned my head slightly to find Alice standing there, her big brown eyes full of loathe and hatred, though I caught her take a step back.  
"What do you want here, Lukrasta?" demanded Alice in annoyance.  
"This is my last night in Chipenden, it's your last chance to come back to a decent, promising life, a promising future for _our _baby," said Lukrasta.  
That made my blood heat up. Clearly, Lukrasta sensed jealousy in me and wanted to make it known that the baby was his. It made me yet again wonder if Alice should stay here.  
But, what she said next made me think differently.  
"What's promising about the threat of getting beaten until I bleed each week? What's promising about getting my powers stolen and my strength weakened, Lukrasta?"  
That made me feel sympathy for Alice. That showed that she only told me vaguely what had happened to her, that she was evidently embarrassed.  
"At least I have money unlike Tom Ward here," Lukrasta argued, nodding towards me.  
I was speechless, angry, hurt and agitated. I didn't need a reminder of how much money I earned from what I did – sometimes hardly anything.  
"That might be true but I know what you're like, Lukrasta. If you had your way, this baby would rot in one of them rotten smelling dungeons of yours!" she retorted angrily, her anguish almost equal to my own.  
"Fine, last chance. Will you come with me and maintain a good future for our baby, or would you rather remain in this dusty old house, with a spook that kills your kind, until you're all old and bitter with a baby that will turn against you?"  
"I'd rather stay here than go with the likes of you," she replied firmly, and I couldn't help but feel relieved at that.  
"Very well," Lukrasta sighed.  
As he turned on his heel and walked three steps or so, he turned back round and looked directly towards Alice. As soon as that dark smile returned to his face, her eyes widened in bewilderment and fright. She took a few paces back but then froze, like she knew what was coming but didn't have the strength to move.

Lukrasta strode towards her like he had all the freedom and time in the world when he wasn't wanted here by anyone.  
Alice stepped back one more time before he placed his hands firmly on Alice's shoulders and almost immediately pressed his lips hard against hers. I felt confused and I just stood there, not knowing what to do.  
As soon as Alice started squirming to break away from his grip, I knew instantly that she'd been telling the truth, that she despised Lukrasta almost as much as I did. Still, I continued to stand there.  
_It'll be over soon, _I told myself, _Just a few more seconds. No one can stay there for that long. _  
However, it seemed that the more Alice struggled, the closer he pulled her towards him.  
It started getting to me and angering me when he continued to kiss her, when I thought I saw his tongue enter her mouth, when she started paling and stopped struggling, my limbs and mouth decided for me.  
"Get away from her!" I yelled and forced Lukrasta away from Alice myself, but her eyes were only half-open. "Leave," I ordered, "Now! Never come back to Chipenden. If Alice says she doesn't want you, it's important to know where you stand. Don't even think about poisoning her mind again with your little lies."  
Lukrasta wiped his lips at that and left with a flare of fiery ferocious fury evident in his exposable movement and expression: all clearly from his failure in trying to get Alice to go back with him.

I walked towards the door and nodded with satisfaction before closing the door.  
I then turned to face Alice. It was then my triumphant smile was swiped from my face Alice looked in agony. She was clutching her belly, breathing heavily with exhaustion.  
"Alice?" I asked anxiously, walking over to her and placing my hand on her shoulder.  
"Feel so dizzy..."  
Her eyes were closing and she started swaying.

Before even a second passed by, suddenly, she plummeted backwards.  
A surge of panic rushed through me as I threw my hand behind Alice's head, falling to my knees in the process.  
My hand still behind her head, I pulled her into my arms, my thumb caressing the back of her head lightly without my noticing at the time.  
"Alice!" he cried when I spotted her eyes peeling open, to my relief.  
"W-what happened?" she asked, almost absent-mindedly and sleepily.  
"It's all right, Alice, you just fainted for a few seconds. I've got you, it's fine," I reassured her.  
"Is Lukrasta gone?" she asked me, her eyes starting to close again.  
"He's been and gone, Alice," I replied coldly, infuriated with Lukrasta's actions and slightly annoyed with Alice's failure to confide in me in the first place. 

Shrugging it off, as it wouldn't help Alice, I helped her to her feet and supported her by the waist and hand, Alice's head leaning against my chest.  
"Alice, you can sleep with me tonight, if it makes you feel better, I should've known it was Lukrasta and what he was going to do, I'm sorry," I apologised, meaning it this time.  
"Thanks, Tom...ain't your fault, like that all the time, he was," she said wearily.  
I then took her up the stairs to bed.

Once upstairs, I helped Alice carefully into the bed and asked what she thought had happened.  
"Told you already, Tom, that's how Lukrasta steals every bit of my power. Now, I...I fear it's almost completely drained," she told me, sighing down at her belly as I lay next to her.  
I stroked her cheek with my thumb gently.  
"There's no need to worry about that yet, Alice, what about your strength?" I asked her, as that was more important. I knew that malevolent witches cared more for their power than anything else.  
"It's...I don't know," she answered. "Just hope it don't affect the baby."  
I didn't reply and blew out the candle. This wasn't the end; both of us knew it. Lukrasta was aiming for Alice's baby – I knew that much was true – and he'd stop at nothing to get it so this wouldn't be the last of him. But I knew Alice was wilful and wouldn't let him get it.  
I fell asleep with my hand senselessly finding Alice's. I didn't know why I did this, my master always warned me how dangerous witches could be – especially if they'd been close to the dark – and Alice had been closer to the dark than anyone alive.

The following morning, I awoke to Alice's sharp movement and turned round to face her, letting go of her hand, and I looked down at her belly in confusion.  
We were both speechless and now, there were no words to describe my fury towards Lukrasta.

Before I could delve that little bit further to work out exactly what Lukrasta had aimed to do last night, what he wanted from Alice (it surely couldn't just be her power when her belly had grown that much), the breakfast bell sounded.  
We got up and walked down as swiftly as we could before Jenny woke and grew suspicious. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea about this; I had to set an example – being her master.

The breakfast was a little burnt, clearly from where Lukrasta had came in. The boggart must've thought Alice had something to do with that and was still a little bit angry from when she'd retrieved the Fiend's head when I'd recovered it from the dark tower in Cymru. 

When Jenny came down, she too stared at Alice's belly in shock. I couldn't wait to get away from Chipenden but dreaded visiting Jack's farm and watching his angry expression when he saw I brought Alice with me.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, we were putting on our cloaks to leave for Jack's farm.  
As soon as we left through the gate, and descended up the hill, I started to wonder on the journey.  
There was no way Alice's bump could've grown that much overnight. Lukrasta must've had something to do with it, but, surely one spell couldn't do two things at once? 

I could tell Alice was anxious so I walked alongside her all the way until we could rest, holding her hand in comfort to help her calm down as it wouldn't be good for her baby. It seemed to work as I caught sight of the corners of Alice's mouth turning up into a small warm smile.  
I smiled to myself and didn't know why I felt so warm all of a sudden.


	7. Such a Fool!

I was very concerned for Alice.  
We had to keep on stopping because I could hear Alice breathing unevenly. Maybe this journey was too much for her - especially in her current condition. I was as anxious as Alice was about the baby. Deep down, I had a feeling that Lukrasta wanted to speed up the baby's growth inside Alice so the time would come quickly when he could take it away from her.  
For some reason, I couldn't help but feel a little emotionless about that. After all, I wasn't the father and Lukrasta was. I couldn't help but think that maybe, if the baby wasn't there, maybe Alice and I could even…  
No, I'd been a fool once to think that way and I wasn't going to do so again, only to have my heart broken a second time. If Alice wanted to keep this baby, I'd try to help her.  
In Alice's big brown eyes, I could see a little insecurity, that she was on edge. I sensed it was because of Lukrasta's unnecessary and unwanted visit the night before.  
Also, I knew both Jenny and Alice were wondering why I'd decided to visit the farm. In truth, I felt I needed to see my family. Things were just becoming more and more complicated with every passing day and once in a while, it was nice to see their faces. It was more comforting and I felt more at home with them.

When we rested, much to Alice's protests and a little of Jenny's, I asked Jenny to set the rabbit traps. It was because I knew Alice was too tired, in spite of her efforts to disguise it, and she needed rest. However, Alice insisted on cooking them over a spit and I didn't complain, they were always delicious when she cooked them, I remembered. Thinking back to those days only made me want them back so I knew I needed to put the past behind me. As much as I hated it, those days were gone and I needed to move on.  
Just like when Alice and I were close, the rabbits she'd cooked were juicy. Even Jenny didn't say anything against it.  
Since Brewer's Farm wasn't that far from Chipenden, we didn't sleep and continued on after about half an hour.

I continued to walk alongside Alice with Jenny a little way in front.  
"Thanks for last night, Tom, if it weren't for you, Lukrasta wouldn't have stopped," she told me.  
I just nodded in reply, too wrapped up in my own thoughts. I'd prefer to escape the subject altogether, the picture of those two kissing was still fresh in my mind.  
The thought of him kissing Alice when she'd returned, kissing her like that when she was pregnant…it was unbelievable yet something he'd do. I could see Alice wasn't lying when she said Lukrasta took her strength every time he kissed her, she did look vastly thin and pale - paler than usual - a worrying contrast to how she'd looked the night before.

By the time we were descending downhill towards the farm, it was late in the afternoon. All to be heard was the distant barking of a dog and the whirling winds. Other than that, everything was dispersed into awkward silence.  
"Jack should be out in the fields," I began, attempting to break the silence as Jenny finally slowed down, "So we shouldn't be piled with questions just yet."  
Then, Jenny stopped and waited for us.  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked me, almost questioningly.  
I got a little annoyed at that. She was my apprentice and I expected her to trust, if not, at least respect, my decision without questioning me all the time when it involved someone she didn't like.  
"Look, this is my decision," I retorted, biting back my agitation, cutting my explanation short.

We continued down and Jenny still looked unsatisfied.

As we crossed the yard, I pointed towards the barn.  
"You two just shelter under there and I'll go and tell them," I turned to Alice, "Alice, we better say this baby is mine or who knows how they'll react if they find out you're carrying the baby of a dark mage."  
Alice nodded to my suggestion.

The two left for the barn as I headed for the house. I knew neither would like being left alone together, but what other choice was there? Alice needed to be kept an eye on just in case.  
When I walked through the door, I was greeted by the familiar warmth and comfort I was once used to before I was apprenticed to the Spook.

Ellie had my nephew, Matthew, resting on her hip, Mary, my niece, bounding over to greet me. She didn't have time to say anymore as Ellie came over and hugged me with one arm. Matthew looked up at me with wonder. He'd gained a lot of Jack's features since I last saw him, but he had Ellie's eyes.  
After being greeted by Mary, Ellie and my brother James, they offered me to sit down.  
"Maybe in a bit. I just came in quick to tell you I've brought Jenny with me, she's waiting in the barn," I told them.  
"Why, Tom? You know we all hold nothing against her," Ellie replied, confused.  
"It's not her I'm worried about, Ellie, it's the other girl I've brought with me…Alice," I admitted.  
Ellie's eyes widened.  
"Tom...I don't _mind _her but, why? You know how Jack feels about her coming anywhere near the farm."  
"I know, Ellie, but there's complications now. I wouldn't have brought her if…"  
"If what, Tom?" asked James.  
"If Alice wasn't carrying my…"  
Ellie caught on straight away.  
"You mean she's pregnant?" she asked, smiling warmly.  
I nodded.  
James came over and hugged me.  
"Oh, congratulations, Tom!"  
Ellie looked down at Mary.  
"Hear that, Mary? You're soon going to have a little cousin."  
Mary looked delighted and her eyes lit up.  
"_Really?_"  
I nodded again.  
"I'm sure Jack can't object to her visiting with that. Bring her in, Tom, you can explain to Jack when he gets home. he'll just have to put up with her," said Ellie.  
I nodded for the third time then left back through the door, down to the barn to get Jenny and Alice.

Only five minutes had gone by and, as I entered the barn, I sensed the awkwardness hanging in the atmosphere and was glad I came back - just in time.  
I told Alice and Jenny, "I've explained to them. James and Ellie seem fine with it but Jack still isn't back from the fields yet."  
Jenny replied with, folding her arms in disbelief, "I still say this is a bad idea."  
"Can't we discuss this later?" I pleaded, wanting to avoid questions for now.  
Jenny fell silent at my answer.  
I then helped Alice to her feet to save her struggling and we walked out of the barn towards the house, Jenny walking a little way behind us.

Alice looked at my nephew resting on Ellie's hip warmly, clearly thinking about what it'd be like when she had her own. She then turned her head towards Mary, who was sitting at the table and recognised her immediately. Ellie told Alice the little boy's name was Matthew and Mary asked all sorts of questions about the baby Alice was carrying.  
The way Alice answered, it gave me the impression she was good with children and I wondered what she'd be like as an actual aunt. Maybe we would've found out had things been different that Halloween.  
I shook my head.  
It was no use dwelling on a fantasy. Alice was having someone else's baby and she'd been so close to the dark and betrayed me, nothing was ever going to change that.  
Finally, Mary turned to me and asked, "Are you here to deal with another bog, Uncle Tom?"  
"She means boggart," I explained to Alice, then turned back to Mary.  
"Not this time, Mary," I replied.  
Mary looked a little disappointed at that but then asked me, "Are you at least here to deal with that nasty old man?"  
My heart almost missed a beat and I was hoping she wasn't talking about who I thought she was talking about. Or else my family wasn't safe here.  
"What do you mean, Mary?"  
James explained, "A man arrived in Topley early this morning. He wore a dark cloak and looked ready to cause trouble. He seemed to have magic at his fingertips."  
My heart sank into my boots.  
"Well, has he caused trouble yet?"  
James nodded.  
"One of the neighbours had been given a lot of grief. He fainted suddenly and the same stranger was standing there. Just before you arrived, that same neighbour had a heart attack."  
I nodded and felt the sudden urge to go out and find Lukrasta, but I still needed to speak to my other older brother Jack.

When Jack finally arrived, once he caught sight of Alice, he stared hard at me.  
"Outside," he growled lowly, "I need to talk to you."  
I followed him out where he looked close to hitting me.  
"What did I tell you about bringing that girl here?" he demanded.  
"I know, Jack, but there's a reasonable explanation -"  
"_Reasonable!_" he scoffed bitterly, "What could be reasonable about bringing a witch to _my_ farm when you know how Ellie feels about those Pendle witches?"  
"Ellie seemed fine, Jack, and so did James -"  
"She always looks that way, Tom, and you know that."  
"Please, Jack, let me explain."  
"Go on then!" he commanded coldly.  
"I've brought Alice with me because of complications."  
"_Complications?_"  
"Yes…didn't you notice the swell on her belly?"  
At first, Jack's expression hardened still, but then his look softened slightly and, to my astonishment, he hugged me as James had done.  
"Congratulations, Tom, I wish I'd have known. I'm sorry I talked to you like that," he apologised.  
"No, no, it's all right, it is your farm."  
"No, it's not all right, Mam and dad wouldn't have liked any of us talking like that."  
As he let go, I still noticed the agitation in his eyes but didn't question it.

We walked back in and Jack didn't say a word to Alice, but he was still far from happy. I knew that much was true.  
Then, Jenny and I needed to set off to find Lukrasta, Alice looked fearful when I told her quietly.  
I knew what we were up against and was ready to make Lukrasta pay for what he did to mine and Alice's friendship, and my trust in her.

Jenny and I left and I felt guilty about not telling Jenny anything. So, throughout our search, to make up for that mistake, I told her then what we were up against. I told her how he was the mage that took Alice from me and how he'd completed the doomdryte, how that was a grimoire that, if completed, would reward that chanter with god-like powers.  
"I know, Tom, Alice reeked of fear when I ran into her on my way to the village when I was getting the provisions. I could feel it, that she'd just ran into a man capable of almost anything. I know what we're against but we've been through worse…the Kobalos mage, I mean."  
I nodded.

We didn't have to wonder far to look for Lukrasta. We found him in Topley and he looked as though he was waiting for us, so I gestured for Jenny to go to the trees so she wouldn't get hurt.  
I thought Lukrasta would draw his sword as I stepped a little closer, but he didn't. he just stood there, folded his arms, laughing malevolently.  
"You just never learn, do you, Tom?" he mocked.  
"Learn what?" I demanded coldly.  
"When to leave a woman alone when she's already carrying someone else's baby. You never treated _my _Alice like a woman, did you?"  
"At least I know how to respect her, unlike you!" I cried bitterly, indignantly.  
Lukrasta's remarks weren't fair. Alice and I were too young to do that sort of thing and he only ever hurt her. His comments were hurtful and it made me furious. Without warning, I drew my sword, making the first move.  
Lukrasta drew his and we strode quickly towards each other. Once again, we were face to face in combat but it wasn't the same as before. He attacked first.  
Our blades clashed in mid-air as we attacked at the same time. Then, I jabbed my blade towards his chest but he took one effortless stride back, hardly faltered. We blocked each other's thrusts but I was foolishly furious, everything Alice had told me about what he'd done to her was burned deep into my mind.  
Suddenly, I saw Lukrasta's advantage over me.  
As did Jenny. From out of the corner of my eye I saw her step out of the trees, coiling the silver chain over her left hand, then flicked her wrist. She took careful aim and the chain fell onto Lukrasta in a left-handed spiral.  
He fell to the ground, but still had a grip on his sword.  
Jenny came level and I patted her on the shoulder in praise.  
The chain had stopped him being able to utter a spell and for a moment, I forgot about Alice's telling me about how he took her power, where she could vanish without uttering a word.  
That was my mistake.  
Jenny and I went to lean down, but our hands never touched him.  
Lukrasta vanished before we could and we looked at each other in confusion.  
Then, I remembered and smacked my forehead for forgetting it.  
"I'm such a fool! Alice used to be able to vanish without uttering even a spell, now Lukrasta's snatched her power…"  
Jenny gasped.  
Then, I shrugged.  
"After to night, we can only hope he's gone back to Cymru. If he hasn't we'll be ready and this time, there will be no mercy," I scowled.

Finished there, Jenny picked up her chain and I picked up my sword before we started walking back through Topley towards the farm. Along the way, we bumped into Grimalkin. She said she wanted a word with Jenny once we got back.  
Jenny looked back at me and I nodded in agreement to Grimalkin's request.

We soon returned and I was inside the warmth of the house before I knew it, Grimalkin and Jenny talking outside.  
To my astonishment, Alice came over and tightly wrapped her arms around my neck. I held her shoulders, bewildered, but tried my best to disguise it and smiled as warmly as I could manage.  
"What happened, Tom, is he dealt with?" Alice asked desperately.  
"He won't be returning here either. I'm certain he's fled to Cymru. He dis – turned to leave just as I looked," I replied.  
Alice shook her head in disbelief before tilting her head to look over my shoulder. Had she lost faith in me over the months?  
"Where's Jenny?" she suddenly asked, shockingly.  
I never thought she'd care but glanced behind me and answered all the same.  
"Grimalkin's came and is talking to Jenny," I said, keeping my voice low so no one else would hear.  
"Where _is_ Jenny, Tom?" asked Ellie in curiosity.  
"Err...she's just got held back talking to someone she knows," I replied quickly.  
I then looked back at Alice, concern on my face. I was curious to know why she'd shook her head like that. I'd soon need a quiet word with her.

We stayed for a late supper and Jenny came back in soon after I had. I too then walked out to talk with Grimalkin, just in case Jenny got something wrong.  
Once outside, Grimalkin's long dark hair waving in the wind, her dark eyes looking at me as if she were about to interrogate me, she started.  
"I see Alice has returned, child. I always knew she never felt for Lukrasta," she told me.  
"You mean…you _knew_ about what happened to her, why she'd left?" I asked, exasperated.  
"At first I guessed, then, before I started researching more on the Kobalos mages, I contacted Alice. Rather, she contacted me. She confirmed my guess that she hated Lukrasta and told me why. It was a deal she'd made with Pan but wouldn't tell me what. She looked petrified and utterly distraught. Alice told me she was frightened and wanted to come back to you, but just didn't know how without capturing Lukrasta's, or worse, Pan's attention," Grimalkin explained.  
"She's also pregnant…with Lukrasta's baby," I grumbled.  
"Well, it can't have been conceived with love and everything else Alice had said was true…maybe there's more to it, maybe she didn't want to," Grimalkin suggested.  
I nodded but started feeling sick with anguish again and so ended the conversation, thanked Grimalkin for reassuring me then walked back inside.

Once inside, after everyone had finished their supper, I asked Jack if I could talk privately with Alice in the living room.  
Jack nodded and so I took her through.

We sat on the sofa and I absent-mindedly took her hands in mine, running over them with my thumbs.  
"Alice, when I told you I'd dealt with Lukrasta, why did you shake your head like that?" I asked her gently.  
"Made a big mistake, Tom, you have. Can still cause harm in Cymru. When I was living with Lukrasta, witnessed something horrible. Oh, Tom, wish I'd told you earlier but I wasn't thinking clearly," so she started explaining about the widow as an example.  
I felt appalled and a little disappointed in her. The Alice I once knew would never have stood by and let that happen when she could do something to stop it.  
Alice bowed her head in shame.  
"Only thinking of you, Tom, I was. Wish I could've done something but if I did, you wouldn't live another day in Pan's hands. Honest, Tom, that's the only reason. Hated it, I did, wished I was back in Chipenden with you and maybe none of this would've happened. I'm so sorry!" she cried, dropping my hands and throwing her head in her hands.  
I rubbed her arm in reassurance, not knowing what else I could do.  
"Alice, why would Pan kill me when I helped him before?" I pointed out, filling with doubt again.  
" 'Cos he's like that, Tom. He's an old god and can do whatever he pleases. Every time I think back to those memories, I'm consumed with guilt for what I've done, what I done to you, made you turn bitter. Wish I could take it all back."  
"I've already told you, Alice, in time, things can go back to the way they were, maybe better. Just give me time and we can start again," I told her.  
Secretly, I hoped they would. I still wondered if Alice had been forced into this condition. If so, that was horrible and although I felt appalled and angry towards Lukrasta, I also felt hopeful.  
Finally, Alice smiled and before long, we were leaving and heading back home once more.

Alice asked me if Jack's neighbour had paid me but I just shrugged, saying that at times like this, I didn't expect a lot. That was what brought me back to that thought of Lukrasta being able to provide better for Alice and her unborn child. Maybe it would be best if we only ever went back to being friends. I also didn't want to talk much about what happened and didn't mention that because of Lukrasta, I forgot to go to Jack's neighbour. Now there wouldn't be time anyway.

It wasn't worth thinking about what we'd go back to: I didn't like to think what Lukrasta could've done. Well, we found out the following day...


End file.
